Continuing a conversation is one of the most challenging and difficult tasks, and it gets all the more problematic when it is done with the opposite sex. First conversations between the opposite sexes make us feel uneasy, self- conscious and tongue- tied. Except for those supremely talented, friendly and approachable people, who are experts at flowing a conversation smoothly, most of us stagger when we need to speak to the opposite sex. The first few minutes are a nightmare, when both of us make awkward eye contact and try very hard to break the ice. However, these crucial minutes will be the biggest judge of our conversation skills.
Many a times you may think of ways to extend the talk after the initial peasantries are exchanged, but instead, get blank. And even when you do manage to set the ball rolling, are you the one who finds it almost impossible to keep up with the conversation? There may be instances where an eerie silence may rule and you face a sudden scarcity of topics to indulge into, leaving you speechless.
Sometimes, the graduation of a conversation depends on things other than the words you choose. Body language and personality play a fundamental role in this front. If you need to impress the opposite sex, then first, you need to make them comfortable and you, yourself should take a deep breath and not panic.
So here are a few pointers to keep in mind about how to keep the conversation going effortlessly without any hiccups and avoid making it passive, dull and dry.
12. Find topics which are common between the two of you:
A conversation can be fun on one hand and a drag on the other. It depends on how you end up shaping it. After knowing the personal details, try to bring up topics which interest both of you. Nothing can be more dull than a one sided conversation. A conversation gets interesting when there are some common likings, interests and hobbies between the boy and the girl. And after it catches up, then there is no need to give fuel to it, it goes smoothly on its own!
11. Ask open ended questions:
If you find the guy/girl interesting and want to continue the conversation, then ask as many questions as you can. Answer the questions that the other person asks you with another question in return. This ensures participation of both the people, and keeps them occupied. Like, ‘Did you see the latest Harry Potter movie?’ A monosyllabic ‘yes’ or ‘no’ as an answer is not recommended. Make a little more effort than that.
10. Make eye contact:
Making eye contact with your date/acquaintance/friend is a must. This will reassure the other person about the fact that you are actually interested in talking to that person and the conversation is not boring you. It indicates that you are attentive and interested in talking.
9. Start with the universal topics:
You can ask about work, family, interests, hobbies, talents, and many more things. These topics are quite generic, and neither of you would feel uncomfortable or dilly- dally. Equip yourself with some common topics that can be discussed anytime, anywhere and, with almost anyone. These will definitely help you warm to up to that other person and cut the tension and tense environment.
8. Smile without hesitation:
A smile can bring out truckloads of difference to the way the other person perceives you. It helps create excellent first impressions. Be warm to the one whom you are talking to, primarily if you are planning to impress them. It will make the other person more comfortable and confident about themselves. But don’t just keep on smiling without saying anything!
7. Don’t forget your manners:
Good manners is a highly attractive quality about a person, be it a male or a female. If on a date, pulling the chair for the lady, shaking hands, having good table manners, among many more things are quite appealing.
6. Keep complimenting! :
No one would complain when the other person is complimenting you. ‘I am so glad to have met you’ or ‘we should’ve been friends before’. Being warmhearted and kind to someone will make the other person warm up to you better. Compliments always help making good friends or gives a good impression when on a date. It will help ease the environment and give a break you guys a break from the question- answer rounds. However, as an admonition, don’t start off too quickly. Give in a few minutes before starting to shower compliments to each other, otherwise it may sound a little creepy and desperate.
5. Share a funny story:
You must have had some adventurous or a hilarious story in your life so far, which you might have told to hundreds of other people or your friends. It’s time to share it with the person next to you too! When you are too familiar with a story, you can narrate it in an animated way and amuse the other person, keeping them tuned and entertained. Funny stories are always great icebreakers to have a laugh.
4. Sometimes, let the other person break the silence:
At times, silence can be your ally too. When you face a situation when silence is slowly creeping in the conversation, instead of avoiding the situation, face it. Stick around, and let the other person make some effort too. This will also act as a test to check whether the other person is willing and interested in carrying forward the conversation with you or not.
3. Don’t fidget and stop judging yourself:
To overcome that awkward phase, stop looking here and there, and don’t worry about what to say next. Stop fidgeting! Stop being so hard on yourself and relax! Sit down calmly and let time take its course. Never be apprehensive about saying something stupid, or making a mistake, because after all, we all are humans. No one has the time to remember such petty things. So loosen up, and instead of holding yourself back in fear, just get a good laugh off your slip ups!
2. Try to know about their background:
Talking about each other’s personal background is a brilliant topic to flow the conversation with ease. Asking about their favourite childhood memories and experiences, school life, college life, travel experiences, observations about the opposite sex, favourite food outlets, will do the trick. Get to know about that person’s tastes and preferences could help you decide whether it is worth it to talk further or not.
1. Discuss about topics that you love and have knowledge about:
Since you will be stepping in your arena, you can totally take advantage and show off a little. Try to impress the other person, but don’t try too hard. You will be comfortable and relaxed in such a situation, and will be able to interact better. Never forget to ask for their point view and listen to their comments will keenness.
Hitches during conversations can spoil some major events of your life. Nevertheless, these obstacles are manageable, provided you work towards it! Don’t be too well- informed or prepared, let the conversation move at its own pace. Follow these tips, and you will be good to go!