Still plagued by your past? Then this article is surely for you if you want to be free, if you want to know the open-heartedness and enthusiasm for life that come with making peace with the past. Memories keep recirculating when all you want is for them to disappear. The only way to free yourself of the pain created by the emotional hurt is to let go of the entity that is harboring hurt in the first place. You can only accept new joy and happiness if you make space for it. We all have been hurt at least once in our lifetime but what do you do with that hurt is more important than the hurt. Would you prefer to get your life on tracks again or would you prefer to ruminate endlessly about the past? In short, how does one let go of the past and move on?
Have a look at these 15 tips that really works wonder for letting go and moving on in life-
15.Making the big decision to let go.
It is really very important to make this decision of letting go someone who does not help you grow or makes you happy. If you are not able to take this decision then you will not be able to move on. Letting go someone who means everything to you also means accepting that you have a choice. So take the right decision at the right moment.
14.Do not blame yourself.
Never ever blame yourself for any of your heartbreaks. For some people being a victim feels good but the reality is that the world simply does not care so you need to get over it yourself. Blaming yourself continuously would do more harm than any. Remember that every time you will have a choice to make either to continue to feel bad or to start feeling good.
13.Nurture your self-worth.
Positive shifts begin to take place when you start to recognize and acknowledge your own self- worth. So watch your thoughts and stop any self- deprecating thoughts. Keep your dignity otherwise, you might lose you self- esteem, self- confidence and cause unnecessary self- guilt and doubt.
12.Don’t consider it your loss, think of it as their loss.
When you are getting over pain it is advised to see it as their loss and not yours because in long run this will help you to maintain your confidence. Feel bad for them and pity their loss. If you are able to see yourself from this position then this will surely help you regain and boost your self- respect and confidence.
11.Accept that you have no control over outcomes.
It is important to accept the outcomes as nobody has control over them. Many of us begin to change the outcomes by changing ourselves in order to win the other person’s heart. But none of these things will work as you can’t force things to happen. You might end up looking desperate in an attempt to change yourself.
10.Forgive them and yourself.
If you can’t forgive them then you will never be able to let go of his/her memories. Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness. It simply means that you want to move forward in life and welcome joy back into it. It also means that you have started to see the situation from their point of view. At the same time forgive yourself and learn from it.
9.Focus on the present.
The best thing you can do is stop reliving it. You cannot undo the past all you can do is to make today the best day of your life. When you start focusing on the present you have less time to think about the past. And even if the past memories creep into your consciousness acknowledge them for a moment and then bring back yourself in the present.
8.Distract yourself.
It is difficult to forget the one you lost and if you are having trouble to forget them then try distracting yourself. Spend time with people who really care about you. Try new things which always attracted you and travel as much as you can. Distract yourself with positivity. Stop dwelling on your past and start concentrating on your future.
7.Stop comparing yourself to others.
You might very often find you are comparing yourself to others. But as the good old saying goes- the grass is always greener on the other side similarly you should keep in mind that you don’t know what other people are going through in their lives. Stop assuming and do not compare yourself to other people as it will make you sad and is a complete wastage of time.
6.Let yourself be sad.
If you resist then all of it gets even worse. Take time to mourn the loss of the one who was a big part of your life. Express the pain whether it is directly to the other person or just getting it out in some other way. Talking to a friend or someone close will also help. You will have to get over it by whichever means you like.
5.Realize that relationship teaches you and helps you grow.
You must understand that relationships are not always supposed to keep you happy. Take lessons from it and learn. They help you grow stronger and instead of looking at the negative aspect try accepting your fate whatever it may be. It is always good to know about your shortcomings so that they can be worked upon for future relationships.
4.Don’t be frustrated.
The memories of the other person will continue to haunt you just let them recess and pass. Sometimes it leads to frustration when you are unable to let go of the past. You have to embrace the fact that letting the past thoughts wash over you and fade is the best thing you can do for yourself.
3.Don’t lose hope.
After all, hope is all that we have and need in our lives. Losing hope is the worst thing one can do. Try to focus on yourself and what you want out of a relationship. There are always flaws that have to be worked and compromised so keep pushing forward.
2.Let go of anger and resentment.
This step is the most essential one in letting go of the past. Anger and resentment generate when we feel betrayed or when someone treats us in an unfair way. Holding on to relationships which has already ended for too long fills us with resentment which keeps us engaged with the past. Once you leave both of them you free yourself to move on.
1.Wish them well and treat yourself kindly.
It is not helpful to continue talking to the person who will never return in your life. Let them go and wish them well. Treat yourself kindly and love yourself. Your heart will definitely heal with time.
“Learning to let go should be learned before learning to get. Life should be touched not strangled, you have got to relax, let it happen at times, and at others move forward with it.”- Ray Bradbury.
People should recognize the fact that letting go is not giving up. Letting go simply means to surrender obsessive attachment to a person. Remember if we crowd our brains with hurt feelings there is little room for anything positive. The bad things do not disappear with the blink of an eye and the good thing does not come into existence without a tiny damage.