You feel betrayed, embittered and humiliated. It has become impossible to let go of those feelings and momentarily you keep on circling to that one moment which makes you resent that person with equal fervor every time it flashes in your mind. Your morning seems to start with it and it is that incident which barely allows you to sleep at night. In short, your life has become limited around that feeling of having been let down by someone you didn’t expect to. Memories are what makes you and it is not easy forgetting those especially ones which pave the path of your future relations with others and ourselves. Yes, harboring resentment would harm you and those dear to you much more than those who put you in the unsettling position in the first place. It will be healthy for your mental as well as spiritual well being to discard that thrashing resentment and start living your life at peace once again. Here are ten ways which could help you in the same. It is time that you try out these.
10.) Forgiving and forgetting
While these are one of the most frequently advised methods in the book when it comes to letting go of resentment, these are the toughest too. You need to forgive the one who caused you pain and despondence.This is not for the other person, but for your ownself, in order to free yourself from those memories. Once you set forth your motive of forgiving , you would realize that it is slowly resulting into forgetting of the event that had been triggering the traumatic experience and pain in your heart. So, practicing this would be a win-win situation.
9.) Write a letter
Thwarting those feelings of anger and suffering from coming on the surface would do no good. You need a platform to express those bubbling emotions or it would eat you up from within. You may have been overlooking what your heart has been trying to say since days, weeks or years even. Well, it’s time that you listened to it; bare out all that is hidden in there. Write a letter addressed to the person who brought you such misery. It need not be actually sent. But it would definitely cure you of a large chunk of your crisis.
8.) Talk, if possible
If you are ready to take this on one to one basis, then proceed with it sans any fear and apprehension. The moment of desertion has passed and it has been long since you have been going through its repercussions. You have nothing more to loose now except for your chances to have a happy and serene future. That too would be lost if you lose this opportunity at hand. Remember, not all are lucky enough to obtain this chance.
7.) Think about the future
It is the past that has been haunting you since long and messing your present as well. Would you like your future to be similar to the two? You are a much more aware and cautious person than before, having suffered and gained your experience already. There is no way that anything of the similar sort would happen to you again. Thinking about the future would bring to your psyche the probable happiness and everything that you actually were made to be devoid of before. Eventually there wouldn’t be any reason to hold on to your past, to resentment.
6.) Leave it to Karma
It is never an easy task to come to terms with something horrible that happened to you and that too by someone whom you trusted blindly. In that hour of pain and inquisition to God, try and understand that He will be by your side if you are right. The deceit of that person would be added to his Karma and he would repay it sooner or later. He punishes as well as blesses.
5.) Meditate for relaxation
Being resentful can take a drastic toll on your life causing you to be sleep deprived, depressed and stressed. Even the slightest difficult social situations might become capable of bringing out the worst in you. To avoid all of these, you must add to your daily routine the practice of mediation. It will soothe your mind and bring you immense peace which is certainly the need of the hour. In the long run it would slowly help you get rid of those negative energies that have been raging within you since a long time.
4.) Indulge in things that bring you happiness
Everyone has a list of activities that tend to brighten their mood, regardless of how dismal they were before. It is totally okay if you have not indulged in that activity since long. It is never too late to try to make yourself happy and be your own hero. Once you engage your mind in that particular task, gradually it will start replacing all the useless and harmful thoughts of your mind. You’ll get a break from obsessing over that one person and what s/he did to you.
3.) Surround yourself with loving people
In the course of repeatedly pondering over that distressing experience you tend to forget the blessings that you have in your life. Look around and you will see that you are surrounded by loving and caring people be it in the form of a spouse, parents or siblings. Open your heart to them and you will feel their tender and eager love rushing in to cure your hurting soul and heart. They hold a key to your betterment.
2.) Help the needy
Witnessing others’ pain and struggles in life, one tends to forget their own problems. Attend to the needs of those less fortunate than you. Doing so would make you appreciate the availabilities in your life. Apart from that you’d also drift away from your own set of issues and rather be involved with those who are in need of your assistance and guide.
1.) Pillows can subside your anger too
This one is for those who are in need of an instant remedy and gratification. You need not worry if the above mentioned ways comes across as of no use to you. Pick a big fluffy pillow and make it your punching bag. Take out all the resentment that you have been harboring since ever on the pillow. Scream into it as much as you want and continue with it until you can feel fatigue taking over a better control on you. Besides this, tears help too and especially if you are not much of a weeper. That would be sheer catharsis.
By the end of the day it would be the amount of efforts that you put in to take yourself out from that destructive zone that would matter. You will have to be your own savior.