Anger is one letter away from danger. The choices we make while we are fuming, come back at us later to haunt us. We sometimes lose our grip on our emotions and in the spur of a second, something might get ruined because of it. If you are not punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger. It is lethal to you and the person in front of you. Every time you get angry, you poison your own system. But there are many ways to deal with your anger, while it is easier to get angry and let it all out on someone, it is also a mistake. Hence, it is important to learn to control your anger. Here are some way by which you can tame your temper.
1. Recognize the signs.
When you get in an argument and your heart starts to race, your fists clench and your muscles become tense, you should learn to let go of it. Recognizing the signs of anger will help you keep a check on yourself and if the argument is pointless and is heading no where, it is better to leave it be rather than bringing yourself to the breaking point where you lose all control over yourself. If you find yourself ready to launch at the person who is making you angry, it is a sign that you might worsen the whole situation because the water has crossed the brim of tolerance. Walking away is not the sign of weakness, but it is the sign of being strong enough to let go.
2. Take a break.
Once the words escape your mouth, there’s nothing you can do to soothe the hurt. No matter how much you apologise about it later, it wouldn’t mend what’s broken. It is wiser to take a moment to taste your own words before letting them out. And if you know that they are sure to hurt the person in front of you, you should take a step back and take a little break to calm your nerves. If you are feeling really angry, give yourself a break and stay quiet for some time. It will help you think clearly and prepare you to face what’s about to come.
3. Practice positive self-talk.
When you feel the steam blowing out of your ears, calm yourself down and look at things differently. When you put negative things in a positive terms, it will help your anger fade away. Try putting yourself in the shoes of the person who angered you and think positively. It will help you relieve your anger in healthy way and you will save yourself the damage.
The best way to beat stress is to take it out in physical activities. If you feel anger building up and you are really close to losing your temper, excuse yourself and go on a walk or go running. You can also spend time indulging in your favourite sport. It will release your stress and relax your muscles. You will feel refreshed and all your anger will get drained during the process.
5. Try relaxation techniques.
Anger can make you lose your mind and you will end up worsening the situation. If you want to calm down, you can try breathing relaxation techniques. Deep breathing exercises will render more oxygen to your brains and body. All you have to do is sit up straight and inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. In your mind, count the number of inhales and exhales for some time. Later, keep your eyes closed for few moments and you will feel more relaxed and calm. Try the exercise whenever you think you need to relax a little.
Laughter is the best medicine; you must have heard these words often. But we cannot laugh when we are upset. So when you feel stressed and irritable, choose among your favourite shows or movies that tickle your funny bone and get hooked on it. Laugh till your stomach hurts and by the time you finish watching it, you will feel elated and all your stress will vanish. Laughing or smiling a little will make you feel joyful. You will forget about your problems for a little while.
A quick way to escape the situation for a little while and calm down your senses is meditating. It will pull out the inner wisdom and lessen your thought count. Sitting at some place with your eyes closed for few minutes, can help you have a better insight of the situation and irrespective of your surroundings, you will find yourself in a tranquil state. Afterwards, you will have a better understanding of the situation and you will be able to handle the person in a composed manner.
If you had a nasty fight with your spouse or with someone at work and you can’t stop yourself from being frustrated and beating your head about it; talk to someone you trust. It can be your best friend or a colleague you trust. Tell them about it and let out your thoughts and feeling. You can listen to what they have to say about it and think upon it accordingly. By the time you finish sharing, you will feel light hearted and all your frustration and anger will fade away. But be aware with whom you are sharing your emotions with, some may not be your well wishers at heart and they might try to push you more towards the trouble.
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong, said Mahatma Gandhi. Forgiving isn’t easy when the person keep repeating their mistakes and it angers you to the core. But holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life. Forgive, not because they deserve it, but because you deserve to be happy. If you keep arguing, hating or getting angry at someone, the loss is yours because each moment you spend being upset; you lose few moments of your life of happiness and peace.
Do you feel the need to be right or explaining yourself, giving spiteful comments? We all have some ego and sometimes it takes over us and we forget that our ego might be hurting our relationships. We should learn how to keep our ego in check. If your argument with someone is going on relentlessly, you should move aside your ego and surrender to the situation. Try not stretching something purposelessly and have a little faith. Things will fall into place by themselves in the course of time.