Are you currently in a relationship and having plans to get married soon? Or maybe struggling to make your relationship work? We already discussed about the 9 Reality Advice About Relationship. And now, we’ll provide you the 15 common relationship conflicts that most of the couples experience nowadays and a little advice on how to solve them. Check it out!
1. Always apart and seldom together
When do you say enough is enough? It all depends on how you can take it as a partner. But as what they have said, partners who do things together remain forever.
What to Do: If you or your partner is at the peak of your career, always on the go or busy assisting other people with their tasks and just not much time being together, organizing something would be great as long as you both would be able to handle. Plan a date ahead of time, open up with each other about how you feel. Nothing is better than spending time in a place where you can be comfortable and light-hearted for you to relax and feel secure when you open up. Reconnect by going out of town. There is what we called “sexting” just to keep the fire alive while apart.
2. You DEVOTE SO MUCH TIME together that you never had a chance to be with yourself and flourish.
Being together as best friends long time before you became a couple is a wonderful foundation. Every single moment being together, doing everything together, might also have a negative impact on your intimate relationship. All of us needs “ME TIME”. This way, we grow more as an individual. Being together doesn’t mean you have to cut loose with your hobbies, friends, and commitments that are confined to the world outside.
What to Do: Give yourself a break. Spend time with yourself and let your partner do the same. Go to places where you’ve never been or just take a walk in the park, do nature-tripping or be with your friends. At first, you will always feel incomplete because you’re not with your partner but in time you will get used to it. The best and most empowering thing to do is go out on a date with yourself once a week and just spend those hours solely to keep your mind busy with things that make you grow more as an individual. If you feel like keeping a journal, do so. The most important thing is — NEVER CHEAT! A time spent alone is always a QUALITY TIME.
3. Same Issues That Cause Constant Argument
Running through conflicts of the same issues can take a toll on your relationship. This can be stressful and detrimental no matter what you’re arguing about. From expenses to laundry, sink problems and that twisted expression when he’s disturbed-unlimited.
What to Do: Relationship revolves around you and your partner. Being together makes one feel better inside out, assured in connection with one another and probably a secure place to flourish and spend life with someone special. Always be patient and kind, and inspire them to do the same, particularly with those who are battling anger management and being hot-tempered. Always take note of the things that you are arguing about and give a space whenever sensitive issues arise. If you can’t help yourselves from discussing things until both of you cools off, might as well ask them to sit with you and break down those problems one by one – Unraveling the issues would be the best way to dig deeper and solve the situation.
4. Unwanted Family Ties.
None of us chose who our parents would be – and if you’re the kind who doesn’t feel liked or connected with their parents, don’t be harsh on yourself.
What to Do: The most important part at this point is knowing who they really are. The mom of your partner may not be good in doing other things like decorating nor baking but just focus on some important details – how she brought up her son and this is what matters. The way they approach and treats you reflects how good they are. But if to some extent you feel disrespected, unwanted, by all means you are not compelled to be with them or even welcoming them in your life. Your partner has a responsibility to stand up and defend you, and be in between if his family becomes too weary.
5. You Feel Uncertain of What Tomorrow Will Bring.
You want to pursue your career to a grand scale, while all they’d like to do is to take time off. Or: planning to start having children after 3 years, while they are ending up the relationship with their parents. Or: you’d want to migrate to another country, while they are planning to have a business and not having enough investment for both.
What to Do: “But this is life on earth, you can’t have everything” as what William Goldman says. When in every decision that you’d make, consulting with your partner is the best way to avoid conflicts. Opportunities come once and if by chance you let it go, it might not come again. It doesn’t mean that we failed or wasn’t able to give our best, life was never multidirectional. If you and your partner move in different directions in life, you have to find ways to fulfill both your wishes without sacrificing your dreams in the interest of your relationship. It means finding ways to achieve your dreams hand in hand and steering the inevitable changes to achieve happiness.
6. Your partner’s matter of contention is giving you a hard time.
This happens a lot, particularly if your relationship is going through rough roads. Different career paths can sometimes leads to challenges or causing insecurities.
What to Do: There is no easy way to fix this matter, if you can’t understand how they feel. Take time alone with them to talk and be patient enough to listen. It is crucial for the sake of your relationship. Even though giving advice is not your forte, at least be there for a shoulder to cry on. People who are very strong for a long time tends to break down and for that matter be there for them and stay strong.
7. The feeling of being misunderstood.
Communication is a way of expressing how you feel and for couples who feel lost whenever they have to talk to their partners about personal matters. There are more ways to settle things on difficult situations.
What to Do: You always tend to imply that you feel misunderstood. This is a usual reaction which tends to disengage from the other and leaves you feeling hopeless and devastated. Open up to your partner, speak rhetorically if needed, casually speak to them as possible and not to worry about what might happen later. Express yourself – and all will be well.
8. A Feeling of Neglect by their Lack of Attention
It all comes to the amount of attention you bestow upon yourself. Your relationship will not be there as an alternative for a love you’ve got to have for yourself every day. You are unique, blessed and strong in all the things that you do.
What to Do: If both of you have problems communicating with what’s essential about giving and receiving, you can consult a therapist to guide you in sorting things out. If you want to settle things on your own, find a way to make your partner feel wanted and always tell them what you want. Asking for their help or saying you love how they look at you is a winning piece. Try these 12 Awesome Romantic Date Ideas to add sparks.
9. You Fight over Money
When money is involved usually it ends up badly. Everyone experiences this issue in their lifetime.
What to Do: Know the underlying problems: who earns more? Is this issue a problem with anyone of you? If you say yes, then why? You write all your answers and give it thought of what’s the difference between your spending habits vs. what you earn while you’re still single and the changes that happened now that you have a partner. If by chance that you or your partner overspent, too indulgent and scared that your future might not be secured, a financial analyst can evaluate your belongings and can decide which is needed and dispose what is not. If it doesn’t work out because you have different views financially, then you might want to focus on the other scope of your lives – like failures, self-confidence, accomplishments, and how you deal with your money has changed beyond the past years.
10. You Don’t Condone With their Vices.
Tell me who’s happy while their partner is drinking or a drug addict and I’ll let you see what a toxic relationship it can be. If you and your partner smoke that is one thing, for example, and tolerate one another, it’s different from loving one, reside with one and incapable of seeing through the smoke with clearness. Who’s to blame?
What to Do: Some would say… If you can’t beat them, join them. First and foremost, you don’t smoke, secondly you don’t have to force yourself to change over someone, and nevertheless with the one you love. In different circumstances, it’s not easy to stop just for you. Carrie Bradshaw is a chain-smoker who is in a relationship with Aidan and tried to quit smoking at the start of their relationship is a clear example of this kind of situation. People will change only when THEY wanted to, and so it is never your obligation to instill this lesson to them. Discuss it with your partner and make an effort to reach a consensus. For example, when they smoke, they’ve got to have a smoking area like in the kitchen or balcony. If they don’t want to stop, you are not compelled to engage in their ways, have them go out with friends. Basically, if it involves drug addiction, you have to consider your health physically and emotionally, and if by any chance you could have helped them (or you wanted to).
11. A feeling of giving too much (and receiving too little)
It’s not nice to say this to you, but if you can relate to a broken bag of emotions splattered all over the floor – most likely you’re truly receiving too little. But the worst scenario, you are emotionally abused.
What to Do: Saying this isn’t easy, you’ve got to pick yourself up right from the bottom. As much as you can, try opening up with your loved one and discuss the extent of time they spend in your relationship, keep in mind to convey the effort which is needed to keep the relationship going. If you feel that it is unhealthy and stuck in a rut, contemplate in leaving the relationship. Someone out there might kill for a person who is as intuitive as you.
12. Lack of Intimacy
Having a longtime relationship mostly with couples living together – sex become scarce. It is natural when their hormonal level that makes them leap on their partner non-stop during those first months together lowers. The relationship ends up just being comfortable together in your common nest. When sex comes just once a year, then, you have to start figuring out how to bring back that intimate moments on track.
What to Do: Sex is part of every relationship. It is where we usually express our love through that fiery moment in bed. Making love all night as much as both of you wanted to. You could bring back those intimate moments with the right mindset. Say something of what makes you turn on and what turns you off. Consider going out and smashing down taboos. Try sexting and seducing each other. Any relationship needs physical work. Don’t just back off, you have to understand the motion.
13. You feel uncomfortable in their sexual desire.
Do you see them as kinky or lustful? Do they prefer some acts that are not acceptable to you? Or more than what you expect? Are you feeling responsible for their fantasies or are you feeling disrespected?
What to Do: The moment you figure out the root cause of your issues, talk with your partner about what you prefer and unacceptable stuff for you in bed. Sexual relationship must have thrill; however, you need to make sure that both of you are consensual and have respect to each other.
14. Being Uncomfortable with his circle of friends (His friends don’t understand you)
There are instances that people whom you don’t like or doesn’t like you turn to be your partner’s friend. You feel uncomfortable with the way they act, talk, and tell gossips with someone else. You are distracted when they are staring at you or might be a bad influence on your partner; for instance, his friends are finding ways to meet the ex. This can be an attitude issue, and sometimes unfixable; moreover, we just need to mind our own business. Learn how to deal with a sarcastic friend on this article.
What to Do: Are these topics affect you and your partner? Are you feeling out of place when you are all together? If these issues affect your relationship, your partner needs to consider this unhealthy in your relationship. The friendship though of your partner doesn’t need to end. Your partner needs to stand-up for you. He just needs to understand that you’re tied as one since you’re already a couple. If you’re feeling uncomfortable to get along with your partner’s friend, you are not obliged to come with them. You can pamper yourself alone and let your partner go out with his friends. At least you’ll both have self-attainment even when you’re not together.
15. Being together makes you feel asphyxiated
Sharing everything you have with your partner can be a delightful journey or a tragedy. The both of you have the tendency to clash, however, it can be a majestic adventure.
What to Do: You may feel uncomfortable sharing your belongings to your partner at first, especially when you live alone in your childhood days. You may dislike the way they toss their clothes (not even daring to get them) before going to the shower. People may find it gross to see dirty dishes on the sinks that have been there for days. You may feel uneasy whenever they use the phone and speak so loud and at times wanting to make a conversation when there’s no single thing to say. Seeing your partner on a daily basis sometimes feels like its too much, and nothing is wrong with it, its just that sometimes we need space for ourselves. Living together under one roof is a serious commitment and if your reason by doing that is just to lessen your bills then don’t do it at all. Consider the advantage and disadvantages of moving in together vs living alone. Listen to everything they say and don’t try to compete with your partner on contending what both of you have to change. Rearrange your apartment to set up your own privacy where nobody can bother you and make certain rules regarding both of your personal space.