It started off as a fairy tale where things could not have been more hunky-dory. You viewed the world through rose tinted glasses. But, it is not compulsory that it should have lasted with a fairy tale ending too. That relationship in which you invested all your love, time, compassion can take a drastic turn leaving you capsized with bewilderment. Usually people are not ready to accept the fact that their relationship has hit the rocks and it is time to let go of it. Your rationale may have tried explaining to you that the bond that you are trying to save and stick to is actually worth nothing. If not acted upon immediately it will eat up a large portion of your being, of your self. And then you will not recognize that person in the mirror. The person that walked in would be entirely different than the person who will walk out all battered and exhausted. Pick up the early signs that you are living in a toxic relationship and gather the courage to step out of it. Here are 9 signs which might ring a bell in your mind.
9. No warmth
You do not will feel close and connected to the person you believed you were in love with. There does not rise the question of finding comfort in him, in times of need or when you are feeling low. The warmth that you expected to feel out of this relationship is no where to be found and it is like walking in a desert looking for a lake of water. You deserve warmth and compassion. If this is not what you are getting in this bond then there is no use of it.
8. Very cautious
So, you have become super cautious in your decisions. ‘Will he be okay with it?’ becomes the one and only thought circling your mind before trying to pick out a dress or plan an outing with male friends. It is not your duty to please him in every situation. You hold a right to live your life the way you choose to. Gaining his assent and approval should not become a deciding factor for the choices that you make. Stop living on the edges and let go. Opt for peace of mind.
7. Together yet lonely
Dates, outings, sports; you may be indulging in all, but is something still missing that stabs your heart every time you think about it? It is time to understand that being together on the surface is not what holds the key to a happy relationship. If you end up feeling lonely and deserted despite having him by your side, then it is a very obvious sign of what you have got yourself into. Having a long distance relationship is better in the face of being together yet lonely. Give it a nice thought.
6. It’s not about ‘us’
A relationship is about two people working in a partnership. That is a clear cut theory which ought to be implemented in practice. If things are more about him, you know where you are heading to. Are all the rules set by him and supposed to be implemented by both of you? Is he the one with who has bestowed himself with the deciding authority of the places you two go to or the activities you two indulge in together? If you are affirming to these questions with a silent nod of your head, then build up your will power and find your way through it. Stop finding an efficient partner in him.
5. More tears than smiles
Every couple has issues and undergoes tough times lined up with arguments. But it does not capsize their happy moments . On the other hand, arguing, insulting each other and then coming back feeling guilty has become a cyclic process for you two. Not only will it make you crankier but also frustrated at everything around. It should be more about creating happy memories together rather than making each other mad and teary every now and then.
4. Lost interest in what you excelled
Painting, cooking, or perhaps cooking delicacies was your favorite thing and you enjoyed it thoroughly. But lately it has turned out into a hobby of the past. You are so consumed and exhausted by feelings of helplessness that nothing allures you anymore. All you manage to think about is how to set things right and okay again in your relationship. Things that are making you drift away from your real self would cause you remorse and sadness in future. Embrace and protect yourself now.
3. Lack of communication
Talking out about the issues that bother always helps. A relationship can be best worked upon by sitting and discussing about what has been causing problems lately amidst the two and acting as a hindrance in happiness. Its lack would break you down to an unimaginable level. If that has been going on since forever, then let not be yet another testing moment in your life. Break out of it. It is clear that your partner is not prioritizing the relationship and is taking it for granted thinking that all the issues between you two would subside magically. That certainly will never happen.
2. Being pushed to perfection
Being constantly pushed to perfection can be extremely tiring and result in the person feeling miserable all the time. He demands you to be perfectly groomed, shaped and mannered all the time in front of his acquaintances regardless of what comes across as comfortable to you and what not. That will cause you to doubt yourself and also hamper with the way you view yourself and your self-esteem. You are not meant to be bossed around.
1. Feeling unwelcomed
This is one feeling that you may have experienced while on an outing with him; he might be mentally occupied with some issue of his own. But having the same hunch very often is a sure indicator of something problematic. If the person that you are dating or are in love with refuses to make you feel welcomed in his company, then there is nothing much left to be talked about.
The relationship that you are in can be more of an illusion and less of reality. You may pretend to be in a loving bond, where you are pampered and taken care of infinitely, but deep down your heart knows it all. Trying to maintain it, you need not compromise your value and importance. Once you realize this only then will you recognize how much you have let yourself be undermined by a toxic relationship. Let it not bring anymore harm to you.