Do you feel that you’re over possessive nature is killing your relationship? If yes then you must look for the warning signs listed in this article in order to prevent yourself from abusive relationships. Possessiveness is a human attribute and when we start loving someone truly we tend to become possessive about them. However, there is a misconception among people that being possessive about the love of your life is something you should be ashamed of. The reality is that all relationships will cease to exist if you lose your possessiveness but just like the good old saying, an excess of anything is bad. Possessiveness is not a bad attribute but there is a very fine line between what is good and what is bad. It is very difficult to clearly demarcate the signs that differentiate a good boyfriend or girlfriend from a possessive one. So, here’s a list of some signs to know if your boyfriend or girlfriend is over possessive about you or not-
10. Insecurity.
When a person shows signs of over possessiveness then he/she begins to doubt their relationship. Insecurity in relationships is very common these days and the person who is actually insecure feels horrible about it. Insecurity includes a burden of fear, obsessive thoughts and also generates the feeling of being powerless. The other partner feels extremely isolated when he/she finds themselves with someone who is deeply insecure. It is very important to figure out whether the person you are with is insecure about you or not. Insecure people are often insecure about their own insecurity, this might sound confusing but it simply means that even these people know how damaging it can prove to their relationship. While some sort of jealousy is acceptable but if it is constant then yes it is a problem.
9. Controlling and manipulative behavior.
The feeling that your partner is too controlling is a serious issue. The excessive controlling behavior usually gets worse, not better and can really undermine the good things in your relationship. Couples find it very difficult to admit their problems but facing them with their partners is the first step to end it. The most telling signs that prove your partner’s behavior has become too controlling is feeling scared of your partner. If you find it extremely difficult to talk to your partner about certain things which might end up into a conflict then your relationship is in danger. Some other signs of too much controlling behavior are when he/she puts you down or tries to control what you do and who you see.
8. Cyber Stalking.
Do you find yourself constantly checking your partner’s profile on a social media website or looking through all of his/her activities on social media platforms or you try to hack his/her email accounts then you are definitely cyber stalking your partner and it is definitely a sign of over possessiveness. Recent studies have found out that female perpetrators engage in stalking as much as males do. If you are dating someone and he/she displays stalking tendencies then beware of them.
7. Constant Questioning.
It can be really hard for someone to see that their partner is always questioning them. Over possessiveness sometimes causes people to question their partners irrespective of the fact that whether or not they really are the right questions for one to ask. No matter how much a person loves their partner they will constantly question themselves and their love because they are always thinking about it. This kind of questioning attitude can lead to fights, bad moods and wear both people out mentally.
6. Your decisions are just not yours.
When you realize that your decisions are just not your anymore it becomes the first few important signs that you are dating an over possessive person. He/she will try to play a significant role in taking the most important decisions of your life. One of the ways to kill romance is to try to control the decisions made by your partner. The one taking all the decisions should realize that his/her partner is capable of taking their life’s decisions independently. People tend to leave relationships as they feel that they are losing a part of themselves or don’t have time to be themselves anymore.
5. You are everything to them.
In most of the cases, it is quite common to make your partner feel that they mean the world to you and this kind of attribute is generally considered positive. However, the problem arises when you are absolutely everything to them and they can’t think of anything else except you and begins to assert their existence in your lives. This is another warning sign and when you hear that line repeatedly that you are everything to them then it’s time to sit and talk to your partner.
4. Doubts you every now and then.
It is considered very normal to have little doubts in the beginnings of any relationship as you cannot fully trust someone without knowing them properly. But if these doubts persist for a long period of time then they can definitely prove fatal for your relationship. Trust is the most important aspect of any relationship and if this five letter word is missing from your relationship then it is time to give a second thought to your relationship.
3. Disrespecting your partner.
Watch out boys and girls as there is nothing more disheartening than a partner who disrespects you all the time. Respecting the wishes and desires of your partner is the basic foundation of any perfect relationship and as we know that structures can only survive if the foundation of the structure is strong. Similarly, relationships can only survive on strong foundations so beware of such types of people in order to prevent yourself from relationships which can turn abusive both mentally and physically.
2. Hypersensitivity.
Hypersensitivity is a trait of over possessive partners and can make the other partner suffer from mental stress. It should be recognized in its early stages so that it can be cured. Hypersensitive people tend to get way too emotional in any conversations with their partners, constantly feel threatened and are most of the times defensive. Also misinterpreting people including the people you love becomes common which limits their ability to lead a happy life.
1. Checking mobile phones daily.
Most of us may not admit it but at some point of time, we have checked the phones of our loved ones in order to keep an eye on their activities. In this technologically advanced world of gadgets trusting your partner becomes tough but at the same time, it is not a healthy habit to check the phones of your partner regularly as it would make the other partner feel that there is an absence of trust in their relationship.
Some bonus tips to deal with over possessive nature of your loved ones-
As we know that the best relationships are not possessive, so in order to make this possible there is a need to deal patiently with your over possessive partner. Here are some of the best ways to eliminate jealousy and over possessiveness from your relationship-
• First and foremost is that both the partners should be willing to talk to each other in order to sort out the differences between them. Talking out your problems is the most important step towards a healthy and perfect relationships.
• Remember that your partner himself cannot identify and recognize his over possessive nature. There is a need to make him/her realize that they are being over possessive and while in long run may damage their relationship.
• Making your partner feel secure and safe is your responsibility and while dealing with your partner you must have patience and give yourself and your partner enough time to think about your relationship.
• Fighting with your partner because of his/her obsessive nature will lead to more complications in your relationship. Instead stay calm and face all the problems together.
• Ending relationship with your partner is not the only solution. Proper counseling sessions can cure the problems of your partner. It is very important for both the partners to sit down and discuss needs and expectations of each other.