“I have always had school sickness, as others have seasickness.”
– Jaques Derrida
Are you someone who dreads school? Always see red when school is mentioned? Find yourself excessively day dreaming about running away from school? Looking for a few original ideas that have worked through the generation? Then maybe this list is what you need. Glance through this list and hope to find ten phenomenal ideas to skip attending that institution which spells trouble for you.
Futility of attending school that day
You could always assert that attending school that particular day will be a futile effort. Your excuse for this could range from the absence of your teacher to some function at school that doesn’t require attendance. You could insist your time would be better utilized within the four walls of your home rather than at school. If your parents are in a good mood you might get away with it after all.
Late on purpose
Wake up late. Even if you are up early stay put in bed. Go about with your daily ablutions at a snail’s pace and keep picking at your breakfast until your parents lose their cool.You are anyway very lethargic in the morning so pulling this off doesn’t really require an Oscar winning performance. Even while walking to the bus stop go in circles, zigzag until you’ve covered every inch of the road you are walking on. This is a tried and tested method that has been utilized by students through generations. For all you know your dad or mom might have attempted the same and even succeeded though that might also prove to be a disadvantage as they might see right through your charade.
Homework not done
This was an excuse I used at times. Though useful it must be used with caution, in maybe once or maximum twice in a school year. This usually works with parents who don’t want their children getting in trouble at school. The tender-hearted souls cannot bear the notion of their children being scolded and so allow their children to stay at home. Though be warned if you believe your parents have hearts made of stone then you had better not try this as you’ll only end up getting in trouble at home as well in school over your incomplete homework. For kids with such parents this excuse will only spell double trouble.
To work on something besides school work
Say you have an internship, or maybe you need to practice your guitar or vocals for some competition or prepare a speech for an oratory contest. Just go up to your parents and mention the pending work you have on your hands and any understanding parent will comply. Whether you actually devote the time to this so called activity you mentioned is up to you. You could wait for your parents to leave for work and party all day at home.
I’m too tired
Maybe you attended a wedding or family function the previous night. You feel great the next morning after a good night’s sleep but why miss this opportunity, after all opportunity only knocks on our door once. Insist the late hours at the function or the excitement of the previous night has taken its toll and almost always you are likely to get your way.
It is raining cats and dogs
You have been sitting glued to the television willing it to display the golden words “rain holiday” but no such luck. What do you do now? Those with the overly apprehensive parents could always play on their anxiety and get out of school. All you have to do is paint a vivid picture of the accidents you are prone to out on the streets in this inclement weather and you might just manage to skip school.
Quality time with family
Your cousins are visiting you but you have to attend that wretched institution that is threatening to get you institutionalized with its rules, tests, strict teachers and punishments, while your cousins are having the time of their lives at home. Well you could always throw in a gentle reminder on how “blood is thicker than water” and insist on the benefits of quality time spent with family. And a comment on the sporadic nature of your cousins’ visits can always help. If this doesn’t work just turn the tap on and you can see your parents resolve dissolve as quickly as your tears.
Missed your bus
Wake up dutifully. Show up on time in front of your parents dressed to perfection in your school uniform. Eat up your breakfast without as much as a word. But on the way to the bus stop conveniently get lost until the bus leaves or just hide when the bus comes in sight. Go back home and launch into a long rigmarole of how you tried chasing the bus and just missed it by seconds, so on and so forth. Finally appear so devastated that your mother doesn’t have the heart to reprimand you. Sit down with a yummy snack in front of your television. Mission accomplished.
This almost always works with any parent who frets over their child’s academic performance. Students in higher classes can always take a day off in the name of preparing for a forthcoming test. Stress on the importance of the test and the grade you secure for your admission to college or your finals. You make it convincing and throw in a few puppy faces and heart rending pleas and you have an excuse in hand.
The most effective and likely to succeed excuse is to fake a sickness. All you need to do is follow a few easy steps and you can hoodwink your parents (disclaimer: this may not work with intelligent parents even after proper execution). First mention in passing that you might not be feeling well, “Oh my head!” or “My stomach!” This must be a subtle reference so as not to attract much concern from your parent. This is setting the scene for what is to come. Then the night before school let the hullabaloo begin. Say hold your stomach and run into the bathroom every 15-20 minutes or wear a weary look on your face. Augment this with sounds and gestures. Remember the key is not to overdo anything. When your parents suggest taking the day off put on a brave face and insist on being able to manage school. But don’t overdo this either or they might conclude you are fit to attend school after all. Then finally concede defeat and agree to stay home. Remember this is still not the end of it. Though you may have pulled off this trick, there is still the rest of the day to continue the act otherwise you might land in some serious trouble with your parents.
School can be a punishment sometimes. Especially getting up at the break of dawn to get ready for the day at school can be pretty tiresome. It is understandable that once in a while everyone wants to skip school and unwind at home. And as long as we don’t make bunking school a habit I guess taking a day off once in a while is harmless.