After a judge reads your sentence and you are pronounced guilty, your world stops for few seconds. You begin to dread the prison life. The lyrics “Animals, animals…trapped, trapped, trapped like animals” start ringing in your head. A scary image of a jail as a 4*4 block with violent inmates ready to kill each other like animals flashes in front of you. Now, let’s lower the scary quotient. Prison life can be fun too. A deadly but optimist prisoner once said,”Prison is not the end of your life, so do the redemption in style”. When you know there is nothing more you can do, accept your fate and enjoy the stay. Here are the top 10 fun things you can do in prison.
10. Read Books
Remember the quote- Books make you travel the world? Well, since in a prison you can’t really travel outside the compound, books are your ticket to a glimpse of a different world. Read amazing and exciting stories. They will help in refreshing the mind. Moreover, you can also study for a correspondence degree if you’re not that into novels. A degree will make you more enthusiastic about your life after your term ends. You’ll have something to look forward to in a place of despair.
9. Run
Running frees the trapped soul. It’s a momentary taste of freedom. When you are in a prison, you feel the walls closing in on you, the air tastes stale, time stops and your life becomes stagnant. Once you are out on the field, running, life is good again. Jog, walk, sprint and run. Just never stop for a minute. Make full use of the exercise time you get. What if one day you perfect your escape plan? You’ll need to beat the clock! Run vigorously to stay healthy, fight off depression and refreshing your mind.
8.Work on a hobby
Recreation hours are allotted to all the inmates. This is the time where they can work on their skills and talents. Every person has a creative streak inside them. You can sew, knit, paint, and learn an instrument and so much more. Hobbies take time to develop and this makes you learn patience. It will calm down your aggressive nerves. Once you get out of a prison you never intend to return it. So, you will need a job later. Hobbies will help you to ensure a job when you serve your time.
7.Write
Prison novel is a sure shot bestseller. Don’t believe it? A whole series got made on a prison story. Series are the survival option for college kids. Write an exciting story and it will sell out as hot pancakes. On a serious note, prisoners have a lot of time to introspect. They have this free time with no worries about job, family or outside world. You can make the best out of your prison time by writing. It doesn’t have to be only about your experience. Prison is a place to meet a variety of people, each one with a unique story to tell.
P.S- This point in no way implies that writers should get a prison stay to write a great best seller!
6.Guess the crime
The first rule of prison is- Never ask an inmate, “You doing time for which crime?” This is an unsaid rule strictly followed. Since your fellow inmates are the only people you will be seeing for a long time you might as well get to know them. Observe them closely, listen to their conversations for some hints, see who visits them and how often. Make entries in a diary. It will be exciting- figuring out people. Guess the background story. Don the hats of a detective for a few days! Someday, if they become your friends you’ll know if you were right or not.
5.Exercise
You cannot risk looking weak in a prison. Now, for the lazy people out there- exercising might not sound as fun. It will become fun as soon as you are inside the prison with no one to save you. The confidence that you could fight off prison gang wars will be fun in itself. So, make a routine- do sit-ups, bench presses, pull-ups and flex those abs proudly!
4.Pretend to be someone else
A prison is a place where no one judges you. Inmates are sympathetic to each other. This may come out as surprising yet it is true. So, what will you be in a place where no one knows you? Pretend to be a doctor, President, cobbler, painter- whatever you want. Go to a new ward and makeup stories about your hiking trip. You can do that because no one cares. At the end of the day, tell them the truth and laugh about it. Don’t take this suggestion too seriously. The department will have to shift you to psych ward otherwise!
3.Talk
You must be wondering why is ‘talk’ in the list. In the world outside where everyone is running to achieve something in life, no one has the time to talk. The people who have time are the ones serving the time! So, talk to them. Talk to the person who has tattoos all over his body, the one with blue hair or the one who rarely speaks. Approach them politely and ask only once. It would be so much fun to know about each prison inmate. They might be having a funny story rooted deep inside their heart.
2.Make a fake escape plan
Focus on the word Fake. Just for fun, gather your friends around and ask them how they would escape. Each one will think for a day and come up with innovative plans like- befriending a guard, digging a tunnel, praying to God, hoping for an earthquake so the walls break. Although don’t do anything suspicious. Committing a crime in the prison is the worst thing that can happen. Put in a request to warden for a CD of the movie Escape Plan. It’s a long shot but he might cave in!
1.Imagine
You can let your minds run amok in a prison. If you are out in the world, doing nothing just thinking. You will feel a waste of time. Each nerve in your body will tell you to stop thinking and do some work! But this won’t happen in prison. You don’t have a 9-5 job, a boss who yells at you or your parents who shout that you are such a waste of life. Imagine good things happening to you, or think like you are in a reality show or auditioning for a singing show. Imagine your life after jail. What will you do? Who will be the people you will talk to? Will you make amends for all the wrongdoing? Clock ticks in a jail and you have nowhere else to go. So, why not make it fun.
Every person has the right to live with dignity. Committing a crime doesn’t mean they will be stripped of fun, enjoyment and peace forever. This article in no way glamorizes the prison life but intends to teach you to make the best use of your prison time. Make sure the person who enters and exit the prison are not the same. Don’t let prison get to you. Get out of it as a renewed soul.
This is satire, right? Make an escape plan?!
Whoever wrote this has never been to prison.
I thought I was kind of cool to be honest with you I mean yeah the exercise everyone knows all that stuff but like give him a break he’s a good writer let me see something you wrote do you have to think outside the box it’s hard
Funny content, indeed! Even prisoners will laugh if they read your writing. Great post!
Great suggestions, you forgot “make a false rumour about the most aggressive inmate & see how long it takes them to figure out you started it” though. It can be quite compelling!
It’s worth the time to read this again. Fantastic blog, indeed!