It is not always that your expectations from others would be duly met. People would let you down, knowingly or unknowingly. It would be on you to decide whether you let it have a long term impact on you or let go of it. No doubt that we feel hurt and cheated by the people who wrong us in any and every way. That causes you to hold grudges against them and it affects your relationship with them for sure. You might not express straight forward and clear discontent and uneasiness at discovering their folly against you. Holding a grudge against someone would not only cause you emotional disturbance but also it would have zero impact on the other individual. You will, therefore, be inviting all the negativity towards you. Refrain from bringing forth further harm to yourself by reading the following ten tips to get over your grudges quickly.
Not worth your time
Realize the value of time. Being cross with someone makes you incapable of utilizing your time efficiently. You would keep on circling around that one single thought so obsessively that it would hamper your ability to think about anything else wisely. In short, you would be compromising your peace of mind and cool. In such a case obviously, it becomes advisable to let go of that grudge.
Don’t hide it under a smile
Trying to hide all your disappointment beneath a smile is very courageous and mature of you. Not everyone is able to do that. But when it comes to holding grudges it is better not to try and conceal your real emotions and feelings behind a mask. It would cause you to be suffocated. The longer you try to hide and conceal it, the more quickly it will spread in your personality like a poisonous disease, feeding on your goodness.
Talk to the person directly
This can be a little difficult but is a sure method to rid yourself from the grudge that you have been living with for so long. Walk straight to the person and clear out your misunderstandings. Tell them directly what has been bothering you lately and how have they hurt you. This method has the potential of turning things for good and sometimes for bad. The person against whom you have been holding the grudge will get to know how has he offended you and might even make attempts to work on it to make it up to you.
Back bitching is fatal
Not going to the person and clearing out the matter, and rather back bitching about how you were offended will add fuel to the fire. You would continue dwelling on the issue in a more negative light. This would be the exact opposite of what is expected out of you. Instead of clearing out your grudges you would be holding on to it forever. And later when you would try to forget the way you were hurt people will not let you as you yourself made your issue available for spectator’s view.
Analyze the importance of the person
Is that person really worth your emotions, be it negative or positive? Give it a good thought. It is obvious that holding grudges causes one to think about what that one person did to you over and over again. You might be missing on the actual fact here and the fact is that the person might not even be holding any significant position in your life. Some people are just passersby and all they do is mock us at our faces and go away. Do not let such people stay for long in your heart. Get over them.
Think of all the happy times
In light of a stressful and humiliating situation that lands up in making you hold a grudge, do one thing. Close your eyes and think of all the happy times that you have experienced so far in your life with your loved ones around. You would immediately come to a conclusion that your heart deserves the experiences of your cherished memories. The abundance of love and care that you have ever received in your life would surpass your tendency to keep a grudge in your heart and mind.
Who was wrong
Being angry as a result of having been wronged is pretty natural. It is simply a part of human tendency. As soon as you feel your anger subsiding, ask yourself one simple question, ‘who was actually wrong?’ It is often that we end up feeling hurt for very wrong reasons. When someone is straightforward to you in expressing her/his views about you, you might end up holding a grudge against that person. But, if you give it a nice thought you might actually see that the person was not wrong. And it was simply a matter of your hurt ego all along which couldn’t bear to stand any open criticism. This happens. Once you realize that it was more than partly your fault, you would find yourself moving away from the grudge and hatred towards that person
Don’t be dependent
Very often being dependent on a person for emotional security makes us feel more resentful and angry if betrayed by that one person. The best option here would be not being too emotionally dependent on others. The lesser you rely on someone, the more quickly you would be able to emerge from a grudge. Life would become less and less about complaints.
Surround yourself with loving people
If you go out with a bunch of happy go lucky and really easy to get along with folks, then you would be giving yourself a treat. All the ebbing anger and rage would melt into thin air and this is exactly what you are in need of. Get out of that negative zone and gift yourself a loving and fun-filled environment. It would help you to a great extent in loosening your hold on to a grudge. Whenever you feel that feeling returning back, go out and submerge yourself in fun. But do take care of yourself.
Sorry is a golden word
Many times we have arguments and petty fights with our best friends and siblings. It is a well-known fact that you will not be able to survive more than a day without having a nice chat with your sibling or with your bestie. Then there seems to be absolutely no space for holding on to a grudge forever. You will have to keep aside your ego and take the initiative in breaking the ice.
Holding on to a grudge will impact you and only you from all possible directions. So, why not let go of it this instant.