As much as a break up can hurt, staying on in a bad relationship hurts more. Many a times, women are in denial of the fact that their marriage is over and that their husband is probably having an affair. Sometimes, husbands even maintain a facade of a happy marriage while cheating on their unsuspecting wives. For both these cases, here are ten signs that will help you determine whether or not your husband is cheating on you.
10. He stays out late
Have you noticed if your husband is spending more and more time outside of the house? Does he usually make excuses to return late after work? Is a 30 minute jog in the morning suddenly a two hour exercise? And is there a sudden increase in outstation work-related trips? Is his boss making him work overtime four days out of five? It may be that he is actually genuinely busy. But be careful. If there is a sudden change in your husband’s timetable, is it sustained and coupled with extra secrecy, it could be that he has something to hide from you.
9. He takes more care of his appearance
Nothing like a whiff of romance to make a man care more about how he dresses. Is your man suddenly into smart jackets instead of shoddy sweatpants? Is he exercising and eating healthier in an attempt to look fitter and younger? If he previously did not give two hoots about how he looked in the mornings but now showers and shaves every day, it could mean that he has someone else that he is dressing up for. Long term marriage partners usually reach a level of comfort that does not require dressing up for each other, so if your husband is suddenly and unusually keen on looking good, it may be for more than just his own self esteem.
8. He accuses you of having an affair!
It may sound crazy but this is actually not uncommon. Cheating husbands often project their own guilt on to their partners. This means that he will turn an argument around and accuse you of having an affair with someone! This is just his way of dealing with his guilty conscience. It may also be a justification of sorts- he may convince himself that you are cheating on him which makes it all right for him to cheat as well. Another sign that he may be having an affair is that he fights with you a lot more than usual and gets angry real quick.
7. Less time together
Remember those days when you took romantic strolls in the neighborhood and he got you flowers for no reason? Or that time after the honeymoon period where you looked forward to his coming home every day and cooked his favorite dishes? And the mornings you spent cuddling in bed? If these regular couple activities are now just memories for you, it could signal danger. If the amount of ‘we’ time that you guys spend together has decreased significantly and he prefers being alone, it may be that he is having an affair and is, sadly, no longer interested in you. Beware of the times when he prefers coming home at 11 in the night rather than having dinner with you.
6. Too much secrecy
While a healthy amount of privacy is important for every relationship, so is a healthy amount of communication between partners. Is your husband suddenly being secretive about everything? Does he avoid having in depth conversations with you? Too much secrecy can be the death of a relationship. Be aware of strange phone calls, mysterious ‘work’ meetings or unexplained withdrawals of money. They could be a sign that your hubby is cheating on you. Don’t badger your husband if he is simply looking for some alone time, but look out for tell tale signs that could mean his alone time is spent, well, not really alone.
5. He suddenly pays too much attention to you
Paradoxical as it may sound, some women claim that their husbands pay more attention to them while they are cheating. It could have something to do with their guilty conscience or simply the fact that they don’t want you getting suspicious. Paying too much attention to you could be a way of smoothing over suspicions that you may have about his involvement elsewhere. Also keep an eye out for new moves that he wants to try out in the bedroom. You know where he learnt them!
4. He is disinterested
Quite in opposition to the previous point, a lot of cheating husbands become callous and downright cruel to their wives. One way of doing this is ignoring them completely. If you find that your husband is becoming more and more disinterested in you, find out why. Does he not notice your new dress or comment upon the meal you cooked especially for him? Does he also spend a lot of time at work or with his friends, preferring to return after you have gone off to sleep? Does he avoid attending family functions with you? All these signs may spell trouble for your relationship.
3. Mysterious phone calls.
Has he started taking his phone calls outside? Does he make sure that you can’t hear his conversations? Is he making sure that you do not know the password to his phone and deleting messages? Has he also started receiving a lot of work related phone calls from his boss who never called earlier? All these could be indications that his affections lie elsewhere. If your husband shuts his laptop as soon as you enter the room or puts the phone down when he hears you, you may have reasons to be suspicious. Also look out for a lot of texting or conversations held in low tones and password protected gadgets, along with phones that are frequently switched off or unreachable
2. Change in his attitude
Your cheating man’s most tell tale sign would be an overall change in his attitude. Is he no longer the caring man you fell in love with? Does he now seem happier away from home and avoids spending time with family? Or maybe he is showering you with gifts? Or is he overly defensive about the smallest of things? Most importantly, do you feel that you have lost the emotional connection you had with him? These are all changes in his attitude that could mean he is not being faithful in the marriage. His lack of communication and change in attitude could mean that he has found someone else.
Finally, you have to trust your instinct when it comes to these matters. If your gut feeling is telling you that something is wrong, don’t try to brush it off or ignore it. Your sixth sense will tell you more than any list ever will, so don’t ignore it if you feel that all is not right in your marriage even if you have no concrete proof yet.
So, ladies, here are ten signs that will help you determine whether or not your husband is cheating on you. If you have ticked yes on a majority of these, maybe it is time to sit down and have a talk with your hubby.