“If love does not know how to give and take without restrictions, it is not love, but a transaction that never fails to lay stress on a plus and a minus,” said Emma Goldman, a Russian activist.
So, can you tell if your relationship with your partner is ‘love’ or a ‘transaction’? If you continually give but never receive, you are bound to get drained instead of getting fulfilled.
Do you ever feel weary and overwhelmed when you spend time with your partner? Yikes! That is definitely not a sign of a healthy, nourishing relationship. It seems like your partner is emotionally draining you out. So, how will you be able to tell if that is true or not? If you need sure signs, here are seven telltale signs that your partner is emotionally draining you.
You worry a lot about your partner
Almost every waking moment of your daily life might be filled with an overwhelming amount of concern for your partner. You always think about what your partner is doing, and the unpredictability of your relationship status gives you hell. You might waste a lot of time on intrusive thoughts that focus solely on your partner and your relationship. If this happens, it is a sign of being emotionally drained by your partner.
You are not excited to meet your partner
If you keep trying to find excuses to postpone a meeting with your partner, maybe you really do need to take some time away. You might as well consider the reasons behind it. If you are no longer excited to meet your partner, a typical response would be that the honeymoon phase of your relationship has passed. However, if you avoid any chance to spend time with your partner because you dread conversations that will bring out nagging, criticism, and complaints, this is a sign of being emotionally drained.
You are happier alone
It is entirely reasonable to want some time to yourself. However, if you are always more eager to be alone and away, instead of being with your partner, something is apparently wrong. You may be more keen to spend some alone time and feel so much more at ease, than with your partner. You may be relieved, glad and even excited to be apart from your partner. You should want some time alone, it is in human nature to do so. But always wanting to be afar might mean that something your partner does when you together drive you away. It means that you are emotionally drained.
You are always exhausted
A simple interaction with your partner will tire you out. You might feel like a herd of oxen just stampeded over you, or like a battery without charge all the time. You have spent so much of your energy giving and thinking about your relationship that it leaves you worn out. This kind of exhaustion is purely to do with your relationship, and it never seems to go away. You may feel physically tired especially when you interact with your partner, and immediately afterward. Your mind may feel like it is imploding like it can not process any more of whatever your partner says. If you invest too much attention in your partner, giving without ever receiving back, it will surely drain you emotionally.
You feel sidelined and unappreciated
That is probably because it’s true. In a healthy relationship, partners build emotional security by giving each other attention, care, and support. They draw emotional strength from such a reservoir when they need it. However, contrary to this, if you feel like you do not receive the kind of support and appreciation you need from your relationship, your partner is most likely draining you out emotionally.
You need to take some time to recuperate
“People empty me. I have to get away to refill,” as Charles Bukowski famously put it, it is a commonplace to feel like you have to recuperate until the next time you socialize again.
But, a healthy relationship should not make you dull and weak after every meet-up, one on one. Instead, it should lift you up on an emotional scale. However, you might feel the urge to have recovery sessions alone after every time you spend time with your partner.
Sometimes, the people we love the most can hurt us the most. So it is imperative to take notice of what is healthy and what is not in a relationship. Only then, you can take the necessary steps to change the relationship into one that nourishes you, or decide if it is time to leave it behind.
Author Bio: Aradhana is a writer from India. She covers topics concerning parenting, child nutrition, wellness, health, and lifestyle. She has more than 150+ publications from reputable sites like Momjunction.com to her credit. Aradhana writes to inspire and motivate people to adopt healthy habits and live a stress-free lifestyle.